You Know You Love Me

NEW FRIENDS ONLY JOURNAL!

Okay guys, because of all the emo-like feelings last time...
I decided it was time for a fresh start.
Which means new Journal.

I promised Fatima that I'm going to update this new one daily.
(Or as much as possible)
So it will be Friends Only from now on.
I'd love it if you'd add me
Because that just rocks.
But if not...then bye bye!
I won't be posting here again!

in_it_together 
in_it_together</div></div></div>Please please please if you are my friend then add me!

So I cut off my hair (from somewhere low on my back to my shoulders), got new glasses and started wearing different clothes and jewelery. Why? May you ask. Because change is as good as a holiday.

I only have one week left at home and now I'm actually sad to leave my parents again. But I think I NEED to do this. I need to go back to my dorm and my friends. I need to bash HIM with all my might and get drunk and forget that I EVER loved him. I need my best friend in the dorm to sit next to me as I send him a text to let him know I never want to talk to him again - that he hurt me beyond control.

The funny thing is - I told him I hate lies. That Stefan did that to me so much that if he's going to do it he should rather just leave. But he promised he wouldn't.

WTF happened to that promise?

Another girl. How bloody ironic. Another girl - again.

Once again I told him that Stefan was seeing another girl........

WTFWTFWTF.

Okay that's my rant.
I'm cold and tired and not wanting to fight.
With anyone.
I just want to go lie in bed and sleep.
And wake up in my dorm.
With my friends.

I don't think being at home for 6 weeks is putting me in such a happy place that I wanted to be. I begged to come home after Abi died - to get out of the dorm, the passage, the place she had grown so deep into our hearts. Yet here it feels so much...closed off. I don't have friends here anymore to say that right now I'm not feeling okay. No-one that recognizes that those smiles and laughs are fake. The worst part is knowing that this is my problem that I have to go through.

My friend and I had a fight at my dance because I don't believe in love anymore. Well true love actually. God, he spent a full four hours lecturing me that I was living for no reason then. And you know I couldn't find one single thing to say to him except sit there and listen to him. He asked me questions that I answered with blankness because I couldn't find any answers. It got me thinking.

Why the fuck do I feel so alone all the time?

And I know I'm not alone, and I know this feeling isn't right...but why does it happen to me - why doesn't that feeling ever fade away?

I don't know what else to say. It's 1:39 in the morning and I'm sitting in front of the computer faking my way through a conversation because that person can't see past their own problems. Or maybe they just don't want to - who knows.

That's all complaining for me for now.

I thought it would make me happy but I guess it doesn't. I'm frowning more than I smile, worrying more than I'm excited.

I really wanted this to work. But I guess I have to be drunk to enjoy it. Or more likely, HE has to be drunk to be fakely enjoying it.

RIP Sheldon
RIP Gerda
RIP Abi
RIP De Wet

You all meant so much to me, and you all were taken so suddenly. Specially Abi & Sheldon. You guys were my friends. You will be missed.

WTF

I'm still pissed off. I just can't figure out why I'm taking everything this way. Like it's the biggest insult.

Maybe cause it is.

I don't know anymore.
I don't care.










Jump off a bridge for all I care.

I'm still in my foul mood and I think it has everything to do with whats been going on. I won't state what but let's just say I'm tired. And that I've realized what it all really means and why what I did was of no pros for me. Selfless act...which I wanted to do for myself. How stupid could I get. To think that it would work out? FUCKEN STUPID. Which it was different but even with that I know who I am.

The impatient bitch.

So not much has changed at all. I'm still a bitch, still impatient and still struggling. What a way to go.

And if this doesn't make sense at all then don't worry. I needed to say it out loud - to admit that my plan had failed.


But if one good thing is in this life - it is that Mario's cancer has stopped spreading and they found everything.

Dear who ever cares.

I'm in the fucking worst mood possible.

From
The supreme impatient bitch.

*PS I broke the KKKKK on my laptop*

So, I started a role playing board for the shows Gossip Girl, One tree hill and supernatural.

Well the problem is, now we need members. As in loads of them.

So if you can role play - please come and join!

http://z9.invisionfree.com/_whendarknessfalls_/index.php?act=idx

If you love to RP or even wanna start - I invite you to join an amazing Gossip Girl RP board! It's pretty cool, though I still have yet to understand what I'm doing! Come make your own character and party it up with my original character (Lyla Scott!)! Plus, if you make a guy we can totally hook-up lol!

Here's the board! Please join!

http://z9.invisionfree.com/You_know_you_love_me/index.php?act=idx

Come on guys, even if you don't RP in gossip girl - give it a chance...for ME?

You can't beat today.
Probably the best day of the year.
(Except for my birthday)

Why you may ask...

It's because my parents are picking me up today from college for a week long holiday! And what's better - I have absolutely no class on the last day of the term!

THIS SO ROCKS!

So right now I'm waiting for my parents cause it's a 12 hour drive from my hometown and yeah...plus I'm waiting for my roommate who I already love like a sister so we can say goodbye to each other. (We texted each other this morning - she's already at home - and said that we like having roommates now and that for the next 3 years at this sorority we want to be roommates because we don't think we'll survive with other roomies.)

So yeah, this is me being happy beyond words for once! (Plus I'm watching old Disney movies so you can't help but feel the love!)

I'm out of here for now!

Cappie & Casey rock!

that's all I wanted to say.
Plus my life is boring.
Blah

Rumour has it that theres a new series on it's way. Rumour has it that Blair has a little secret to keep from Chuck. Let's not forget the rumours of Mister Scott and Brooke (not forgetting little Jamie Scott). And whose this mistery guy Blair calls? Does it has something to do with her past? And when it all goes to hell - what will Haley decide to do when a brother's hopes are placed on her.
But whose going to see the end of the season as an unexpected choice rocks their once stable world.
Love & Life
Surviving as only they can

WE WERE HERE

http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh271/mienkie/ComingSoon-WeWereHere.jpg

Excited about the new series? It's going to be up soon - not only in fanfiction form but also as 'n youtube miniseries. My PM box is open if you want to know more - pretty soon there will be a site up with more information and sneek peaks at the lives of Manhattan's Elite.

So - in about two weeks I will have my computer with me and be able to start making the series I have been planning to do for a while now. I'm also making a new LJ account just for this series, where episode links will be up and character histories and so forth.

So question is...would anyone want to actually see/read/hear/whatever this?

Right now I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it all alone - maybe I'll take someone in to help me (you might as well just ask for it if you really want to)

The story keeps on getting more and more complicated as we go along... And yes, I'm mixing loads of different stories at the moment.

Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
Supernatural
& then there are the odd few characters that pop up.

So yeah...what I want to know if it's the right idea to go through with it?
I mean the LJ and the series.

Let me know, I'm missing the company lol.

All my love
xoxo

So...got some marks back.

Business Management - 10/15 (woot woot!)
Financial Accounting - 18(& half)/25
Stats - 9/17
Information Systems : Teorie - 13/15
Practical - Being remarked

That's all I have so far, now waiting for my Economics and Industrial Psycologhy marks back.

Last nights test was okay. It was far from easy but I'm not going to say it was the hardest test ever.

Tonight I have doormanjob. Freshman in the fraternity sit 4 hours at the frontdoor. So boring, but yeah, will force me to study for Stats tomorrow.

Haha! Got to computer class (a good 4 hours after I was supposed to) and saw there was a roadcall test I had to write. But alas, a password blocked my entry. Anyways I saw the lecturer and kindly asked him the password.

"Well it isn't tutorial class now..." he replied with a smile!

I just burst out laughing, told him that I had overslept this morning (such a lie, I just bunked the class) and that I had missed my first two classes (lie, I had gone to my first class). Anyways he gave me the password. Then when I was doing the tut I got stuck in 2 places and the second time I called him he burst out laughing (causing all the 3d years to look at me) because I was asking such stupid questions that I actually didn't know.

So tomorrow I'm going to his extra class because alas I have no clue what the hell the tut was about.

I have a singing audition tonight and I actually don't want to go. My roommate is forcing me, which is probably a good thing because I can sing I'm just too lazy to go to auditions.

Haha

Anyways enough of the real world.

(Except that my friend is trying to set me up on a date with a guy I do like but will never admit to liking. She's being such a bitch about it)

Rping friends, my journals are up (no icons for moods yet) but if you have a place where I can get started...feel free to comment!

Out for now.

zzzzz

I'm off to write the fucking Industrial Psycologhy 112 Test.

Fuck me.

This is going to be a shocker of a test.

Afterwards, heading to the study sentrum with my roomie...because hell alone knows I have to study for Stats test Friday.

Afterwards, I promise to come back, look at what Tam explained to me and maybe start RPing.

Who knows.

But for now, wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!

PS For all the Chuck/Blair fans out there - am currently thinking of writing a story for them...dum dum. Blair's older brother (insert famous hot actor name here) comes back to find his little sister pregnant with a Bass baby.

Anyone think it will make good?

Shout outs to all the "special" people that comment.

So guess what I'm doing?

I'm not studying when I know I'm supposed to otherwise I'm failing.

The rebel in me just had to do it.

So I'm going to start RPing, Tam is helping me with that, and once thats done it's done. Also I'm going to make a video series once my vegas 6 is working and my files have been transferred from .avi to .wmv or something. Don't have the program for it yet but it's a work in progress!

currently sitting in FHARGA, the computer room for all the economics students. My friend is busy printing the notes for the day (yes just the day, I'm in here everyday printing notes for the next day) so I have nothing to do cause I was here last night.

Unfortunately it's a public place so hahahaha no actually able to start roleplaying here! BAHAHAHAHA!

So, what you guys up to?

I'm sitting here wondering if I should make this FO...but I mean I don't have that many friends that comment (excluding the ones that do - you know you are special).

Anyways I'm off to Mercantile Law 193.

Smoke you all soon!

M.i.e.n.k.i.e.

Dear whoever the hell is caring at the moment.

I ask one thing today - one small favour that I hope will be granted. I ask, no I pray, that which ever power you believe in - whether it's prayer or something else - that you keep somebody in it for me.

His name is Mario and he's a twin I know from my home town. To tell you the truth, they drive my mother and me up the walls (she's their teacher) but they both have such good hearts and for the most of it, I do love them in my own way. You see Mario recently descovered he had a rare type of cancer - in his head. They cut a piece out lately and doctors are saying that they caught it early enough.

But if my cousin Divan's death proved anything, Doctors can be wrong with that statement.

So I ask you to please pray for Mario, for Mario's twin brother Ryno who is seemingly lost without his brother and for their parents and sister. Pray for the family going through such a rough time.

Pray so that through the power of prayer we can send Mario some love...so that he can get better and irritate me like he always does.

Because what's the world without my favourite twins killing me with sarcasm?



This is for you Mario...

Love, Vaseline.

I'd like to roleplay. You know, on LJ or something.

I just don't know how.

Anyone care to help and introduce me to this wonderful world?

(Not that anyone actually reads this except me)

Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

I wanted to make the vid series so badly! But now my windows movie maker won't work...and I got a trial version of Sony Vegas 6 but have no idea how to use it.

Anybody willing or able to help me?

Or if you use any other vid program - let me know as I'm dying to make a vid.

UNI UPDATE:
Finished my first test today.
2 more to go this week.
UNI PICS UP SOON IF YOU WANT THEM

So, I'm supposed to be studying accounting (hence the reason why I stayed in the res/fraternity this weekend) and yet I find myself online with nothing better to do.

So I've decided on this:

I'm dying to make a video series.
You guys know, like a story through a few vids.

Whatever.

Anyways here's what the promo idea entails::

{Crossover with OTH/Gossip Girl/Heroes}

Blair's best friend from years ago moves back to the upper east side - but Brooke is anything but changed. She's back to upset the whole manhattan if she can. Follows their trails as they struggle to become friends again, try to conquer tiring love lives and other forces out of their control.

I SUCK at summaries.

Anyways other characters include Peter & Claire from Heroes, Lucas from OTH and mainly Chuck & Nate from GG.

Pairings:
Blair/Chuck (with Nate thrown into the mix)
Brooke/Lucas (with Peter thrown into the mix...maybe...don't know yet)
Peter/Claire (and no - not related.)

What do you guys think?

Should I?
Shouldn't I?

OH OH OH OH OH